I find you everywhere.
A lip balm in the key bowl by the front door. An instamatic photograph tucked in the glove compartment of my truck. A single sock at the bottom of the sock bag, desperately seeking its twin; longing for the warmth of a foot. Ribbons behind your bed. A half eaten box of Shapes still in the pantry. Crumpled togs forgotten by the tub. Your name, scrawled across your phone charger, taunts me.
Belatedly reading Divergent on the kindle I flick the page to find a section of text you’ve highlighted. I read the words hungrily, devouring the newness, the closeness to your mind, desperately trying to decipher why you selected these words, particular among many. What do they say about you? Who you were, what interested you, who you might have been?
So many signs of your presence. Yet you have gone.
(This blog post and photograph may only be reproduced with prior permission from the author)
She is everywhere Luce. Everywhere and more x
ReplyDeleteShe is in your heart. Sending all the best - while there are no words, there are lots of feelings. xoxo.
ReplyDeleteThank you both x
ReplyDeleteHi Lucy, my name is Kimberley, I am Kela Gurnseys friend. As you know there are many layers to the Sumner community and although I do not know you personally, I have always seen you around Sumner and I remember seeing you at the Blue Pub in Methven a few years ago when the Sumner kids in the band played down there. I want you to know there is not a day that goes by that my husband and I do not thinks about your precious Abi, her dear friend Ella and your friend Sally. I think about you and your family most days too. My children Bella and Kobe talk about Abi often especially about the kindness Abi showed Bella when she was a new entrant at Sumner School last year. We have 'Love you' written in pink on the kids black board. Our bright dots have just been ordered.
ReplyDeleteAbi will be everywhere, all around you, for the rest of your life. And because of what an amazing special little angel she was here on earth, her memory will live in so many of us forever.
xox
Thanks Kimberley, it's always lovely to hear stories of our girl that I didn't know. We miss her terriblly. x
DeleteOh Lucy agony!!! I didn't know. I was tinkering around today, interested in reading some of your journalism stuff (call it procrastination if you will) when I saw this blog. I feel weird not writing something, when I am reading this with such empathy and interest. I commend you for choosing to celebrate life right now, especially since Abi seemed to be an effervescent, bright and loving young girl. I wish you well on your journey. The irony pains me, but you seem to be using your knowledge to great benefit, so I hope it is to be your source of strength - along with your many friends. Warm regards, Kristen Hamling (you know me - albeit briefly - AUT - PhD Candidate).
ReplyDeleteKristen, I have thought of you and your PhD providing a support programme for first response teams. I shudder to think what the guys who arrived at the girls' crash had to go through and know how little support there is for them. Has really made me value your PhD project. Thanks for gettting in touch x
DeleteYeah, Lucy it is pretty horrendous for them. NSW Police have just announced that they are doing exactly what I want to do - using pos psych academics from Australian Catholic Uni - Felicity Huppert is there. So that is pretty good to see that I may be on the right track.
DeleteLucy I wanted to know whether you minded me writing about your blog in one of my articles for the Wanganui Chronicle - I write about all sorts of things to do with having a better life - working on the PERMA model. Not at all academic writing, more thought provoking, raising ideas that I think we should be thinking about. It is going well with lots of people saying they like reading them and get something from them. I love your blog and was going to mention it. Is that ok with you?
After reading your blog I have down tools a bit more often lately and chosen to just hang out more with the boys. I think of you and your family often!
Kristen
Of course Kristen that's fine by me.
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